Author: Katherine Ewell.
Publication date: April 1st 2014 by Katherine Tegen Books
Sort: Stand-alone (BETTER)
Source: Edelweiss & Publisher.
Rule One—Nothing is right, nothing is wrong. Rule Two—Be careful.
Rule Three—Fight using your legs whenever possible, because they’re the strongest part of your body. Your arms are the weakest.
Rule Four—Hit to kill. The first blow should be the last, if at all possible. Rule Five—The letters are the law. Kit takes her role as London’s notorious “Perfect Killer” seriously. The letters and cash that come to her via a secret mailbox are not a game; choosing who to kill is not an impulse decision. Every letter she receives begins with “Dear Killer,” and every time Kit murders, she leaves a letter with the dead body. Her moral nihilism and thus her murders are a way of life—the only way of life she has ever known. But when a letter appears in the mailbox that will have the power to topple Kit’s convictions as perfectly as she commits her murders, she must make a decision: follow the only rules she has ever known, or challenge Rule One, and go from there.
You guys.. Sometimes I read books that make me wonder how they get published. I hate being mean, but this book was just plain horrible. Let me tell you that I went back four times to take certain sentences away and this is the best curse-free, less snarky review I could come up with. There is no way to enlighten it with some positivism, because there was not a single thing I enjoyed. If you don’t like rants, you better skip this.
Kit grew up as ‘assassin’ and takes over when her mother is done with the job. I believe she was 9 when she started to learn this trade and she is now a 17-year-old girl. The problem with this book is that it’s filled with plot holes, unbelievable situations and a very unlikable main character.
Let’s talk about the rules first. Rule One—Nothing is right, nothing is wrong. Combined with Rule Five—The letters are the law. Kit is not supposed to play for God. She receives the letters in a mailbox that has been hidden in a toilet wall for years. Unrealistic concept aside (will return to this later), Kit isn’t allowed to judge. They ask, she kills. The only thing for me is, I could NEVER EVER live with myself despite these rules. If these requests would have made sense, perhaps I could understand it, but the letters are too ridiculous for words.
my family has hit hard times. I love my husband. I really do. But I want you to kill him. I’m not doing this because I hate him. I’m doing this because I love my children. He has life insurance that could create a better life for us – don’t you see? And I don’t think he’d really be mad if he knew I was writing this letter.”
Let me get this straight. You want your husband to be killed, so you can use the money? So instead of fixing this together like a normal family, you rather lose him for life insurance? None of the other letters were any better, especially the case this book is all about. Kit is supposed to kill Maggie, because she “broke my heart” until you find out that this Michael is harassing her and this girl is scared of him. Well, there is of course a reason that Kit is able to do this and it’s just.. I’m going to quote it. There is no other way to show you how hilarious this is.
”They need a monster under their stairs.” She smiled. ‘The world is full of chaos. And it’s that chaos that joins people together. Scared people are more cohesive than people who aren’t scared. It’s so clear – right there, in the way they old on to each other. They need me. Because the people here in London start feeling so safe. And every once in a while they need a murder – just a tiny fragment of chaos – to remind them that they aren’t safe, to remind them that they need each other, to remind them that in the end it’s human relationships that matter.
Oh yes, Kit, you are a life safer! Than you SO much for making everyone’s miserable life better by scaring them with your perfect murders. Thank you SO much for taking innocent lives to help us remember we need each other. You are an Angel, I wonder where you freaking halo is.
Rule Two—Be careful. HAHA. Please allow me to laugh out loud, because if there is one thing Kit sucks at, it’s being careful. Her mother invites the “young, attractive” guy who leads the search for this Perfect Killer. Of course it’s only a reason to introduce another lame person to the story. He is not only TOO young to ever get such an important task, but he has to be gorgeous too. Well, he is not the brightest in the bunch, that’s for sure. It’s great for him that despite his obvious stupidity, he is allowed to find the killer. Back to the rule. So, Kit becomes best friends with this Alex and she hands him all kinds of information she actually couldn’t know as outsider. For him, that’s only a reason to give her inside information and he even allows her on a crime scene. Are you kidding me? Not very professional.
Not only is she allowed to give him information which could lead to herself in the end, she is also found next to a body in school. Her ‘wailing’ and ‘desperate crying’ immediately get her of the hook as murderer. An innocent, cute girl like her isn’t possible capable of doing it, right? Or what about that time where she wants to murder a famous singer, but she can't and she get's of the hook, because "she's a good girl." Uh, okidoki.
Okay, to return to the unrealistic concept of the mailbox. I quote again, because I can’t find the worlds to explain this idea myself.
”None who had their requests filled, even those tracked down and interrogated by the police, ever confessed the location of my mailbox. The mailbox set a strange spell of silence over them. The police didn’t know of that secret place, and I was glad of it.”
How is it possible that people know about this mailbox in the first place? There is never explained how this all started. And it’s not a ‘strange spell.' Would you tell the location to that box if you are interrogated – which could possible mean that you confess you have written a letter and committed a crime?
The last thing I want to rant about is Kit, an infuriating girl. 17 year old and I must believe she is such a perfect killer that nobody can find her.. Okay. I can look past that, seeing this is a book. (Although saying that they can't trace back to you because 'the dark carpet will hide the blood stains' doesn't make it more realistic) What I can’t ignore is how annoying she is. Becoming friends with your victim is never a good idea, but finding out that this girl is innocent and then still want to continue with the murder? Practically handing your identity to Alex? All the conversations in her head and how she tries to talk everything right? Just.. no. I was so relived when I reached the ending. Ugh.