Tuesday, February 16, 2016 21:22

Fairytale News | Being the D.U.F.F.


I came across this movie on Netflix and decided to give it a shot. There were some awkward moments and sometimes it was too much 'I'm the bitch of the school' from Madison, but I enjoyed it. Wes is quite pleasing to look at. It made me think about my time in High School and how often I felt out of place. Be aware, I might ramble a little, but I just had a lot of feelings and thoughts. (D.U.F.F means Designated Ugly Fat Friend, the person who is least popular and more approachable in a group.)

This movie made me realize how easily we label people on our first impressions and by how little we know about that person. It also shows how we let other people's opinion influence us and define us by placing us in a box that does not entirely fit. It made me realize how much I cared about what other people thought about me and how much emphasis I placed on those labels when I was their age. Sometimes I've let other people decided how I felt about myself and I placed a part of my happiness in their hands - and some people were not worth that amount of importance.

It made me think back about the fact that I used to feel I should adapt to everyone around me. Despite the fact that it did not work, because some people are simply mean and hateful, I changed something vital about myself; instead of being entirely Mel, I was only the part of myself I thought others would like more, because she might fit in better. It took me a long time to realize that I should never try to fit in with people who could not accept me for who I am. I did not have to change myself, only the people around me. It is still scary and I still want everyone to like me, but at the end of the day I'm pleased with the person I am now. And you should be too!


In a way, The D.U.F.F made me think about This song will save your life. Elise was an outsider who tried to change herself, but eventually realized that she was good the way she was. She just needed to find the right people to surround herself with.

“You think it’s so easy to change yourself. You think it’s so easy, but it’s not. What do you think it takes to reinvent yourself as an all-new person, a person who makes sense, who belongs? They will still see past that, see you, the girl who is still too scared, still too smart for her own good, still a beat behind, still, always, wrong. Change all you want: you can’t change that. I know, because I tried.” - This song will save your life.

I also think it shows the fact how one word can mean a lot to someone and how it can influence their life. We see the effect of bullying and how this could easily ruin someone's entire life and reputation. More books and movies should express what an influence bullying can have on someone's life and personality. A lot of time it seems to be brushed away, but it can have serious damage and despite the light tone in this movie, I think it conveyed that message. We should all be able to express who we are without being judged by everyone and without feeling ashamed for who we are. Let go of the labels and simply embrace who we are, for who we are.

I think that this is the power of stories, whether they are told through movies or books. They make us think about important things, they tell stories that resonate with us and they make us realize we are never alone.

Did/Do you ever feel like a D.U.F.F?
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Mel@thedailyprophecy

Mel is a microbiology technician who is obsessed with Disney, fairytale retellings and fantasy. If she's not reading or blogging, she's either busy with gaming, hanging out with family or watching a TV show. She loves summer and bright nail polish. One of her dreams is to travel the world. She has found her Prince Charming and they are together for 7+ years.

17 comments:

  1. I definitely have felt like the DUFF before. Sometimes I still do.

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    1. For what it is worth, I think you are beautiful (inside and out :)!)

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  2. I've felt like the odd girl out before, though maybe not necessarily an actual DUFF (as based on what it means in the context of the book). Changing to please other people is tiring, because you have to put on a facade and stay untrue to yourself. Allowing yourself to be YOU and surrounding yourself with people who like YOU as you are - that's the key thing, and I feel like everyone I know (me included) has learned that through personal experience.

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  3. Mel this post is everything to me. When I was younger and more naive, I used to be extremely hyper and bouncy because I thought that's what everyone loved about me. But I used to hide my true self from everyone, but then I found when I was upset or would be in a darker mood, there wouldn't be anyone there for me. So it was too tiring being like that, and then I discovered more about myself after high school. Great post Mel!

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    1. Exactly, it is so much effort to try to be someone else, when we are just good the way we are :)

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  4. "Wes was quite pleasing to look at" - totally agree! Robbie Amell is just so beautiful. The Amell brothers have some very good genes. I definitely feel like I changed my personality around my friends from high school to fit in more, but after high school when I wasn't spending every single day with them, I stopped caring about what they thought. School does put a lot of pressure on you fit in and be a specific type of person. But I loved the message of The DUFF and I love how Bianca basically said "screw you" to everyone at the end.

    Great post Mel :)

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  5. I've definitely been an outsider, mostly when I was in grade 6 and had no friends for a whole year, which is not quite the same as DUFF. I think high school is weird mini society which turns out to not be like the real world at all.

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  6. Ahhhh this movie was so cringe-worthy lol. But it has a lovely message. Thank goodness I've never been an outsider - I went to an academic high school so everyone was just as nerdy as me :)

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  7. I love this post. I read the book and loved it, even though it is VERY different to the movie. I saw the movie after reading the book and still enjoyed it. It definitely brought up a lot of great points. I definitely think I have felt like the DUFF at times when I was younger. I love getting older and getting more comfortable with myself and being totally unapologetic about it.

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  8. High school. Aw, man. This post is beautiful, Mel! I was a totally different person back then - I went from total DUFF to rebel off the rails. I felt like I wasn't properly myself at all, and it only was after high school and changing friends that I was truly myself. It's changing the people around you. It's all those things in life though, I guess, and it builds up our character too! :) Great post, I really enjoyed it!

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    1. True, it does shape you into the person you are today :)

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  9. I didn't realize this was on Netflix! That makes me excited because I didn't like the book, but heard the movie is very different. I'm hoping that I'll like all the changes and relate better to the movie version of Bianca. I'm definitely with you on the high school thing. I think it's VERY common for YAs to try to be who they think people will like. I know it wasn't until I was in college that I truly discovered who I was without all the BS. I also often wonder if the things I did in HS to try to make people like me didn't have some lasting effects and end up changing how I am today. I guess what I'm saying is I'm still working through some of my old hurts and disappointments :(

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  10. I think everybody has felt like a D.U.F.F. at some point. No matter how "perfect", popular and happy someone might seem they'll have their insecurities just like the rest of us and they'll want to hide their less than perfect parts of themselves in order to feel like they belong. I really enjoyed this movie and the lesson it taught - I really want to read the book now! :)

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  11. Gorgeous post Mel. <3 You are amazing. Thank you so much for sharing about this :) I have not seen this movie, but I am curious about it. Glad you liked it :) And aw, I'm sorry school was like that for you. I like you just the way you are. <3 (despite not knowing you all that much, hih :D) School was not good for me. I was not a popular person, and I got bullied a lot, but I still had a few friends. Though none of them kept in contact after school ended :p Anyway. You are awesome :)

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  12. I don't think I was ever the D.U.F.F. Definitely not the definition of it at least. I wasn't unpopular either, but I was unapproachable (which is a weird combo, right?). I was a spooky, nerdy kid that wore black on black on black ensembles, I mean-mugged everyone (it's just how my face lays), and I was too sarcastic. But, I was also pretty amicable, which surprised people once they plucked up the courage to talk to me. Plus, I listened way more than I actually talked, which people seemed to appreciate because it made them feel important. I never felt bad about myself. It's just who I was (and still kind of am. I've transitioned out of black at least...in to grey). And it's not like I was never insecure either. Everyone has insecurities. But, I never felt obligated to change myself to fit other people's expectations. I've just always worked to accept me.

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  13. Sometimes I still feel like the DUFF, but because I am so trained to be nice, that I hold myself back to make everyone else feel comfortable. But I was very much the the DUFF in school. I was always trying to find out of my friends were single/wanted to date this guy/ran messages back and forth. It did give me the ability to sense when people are honest and when people are trying to con me.

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