Sunday, April 17, 2016 00:09
Birthday: 25 years.
It's that time of the year again. Twenty-five years ago I was born on a cloudy April 17th (because of course, thank you Dutch weather) and I don't feel like my age. I feel like I’m still around 18, trying to find my way in life and getting things on track. Sometimes I feel like I’m portraying to be an adult, but I just like to believe I will keep a young heart and mind.
When I was younger I thought my life would be IT around this age. I would have this perfect image and when I look at my life now, it's not the complete picture I envisioned. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m happy with my life, but it’s interesting to realize that things will not always go the way you imagine. That is one of the first lessons;
Things will not always go your way, but that doesn’t mean you are going the wrong way. You just have to be creative and work with what you got. It will only make you sad if you look back at the perfect image you’ve come up with. Life is not perfect and sometimes it’s not fair (insert Snape voice), but take a look at how far you’ve come already and all the things you’ve done and be happy with that. You should be proud of yourself, no matter what.
People will judge you, so better do something you love so you don’t give a shit about what they think. Truly. You can change yourself all you want, but they will find something else to criticize. You better own the things you love and stand behind them. Do what makes you happy and shrug off the people who try to tear it down. They are not worth your time. Do what makes you happy and never let anyone else makes you feel bad about it.
It’s also no use to try to make everyone like you. It’s not realistic. It’s the same with books: we can’t all like the same thing. I’ve been told many times that I should not be so quiet when I meet new people and that I should participate in conversations, but that is simply who I am and there is no way I can change that. If someone has issues with that, it's not my problem. This is something I struggle with at moments. Being bullied in the past has had an impact on my life. I’ve talked about this before, but I think that part of me still longs for acceptance. I’m someone who wants to please everyone and I’m always afraid people will dislike me. Over the years I’ve grown more confident with who I am, so I know how hard it can be, but really: Embrace who you are. You are perfect the way you are. *Now I have to repeat this to myself over and over again until I live by this*
That doesn’t mean you should stop growing. It’s good to keep improving yourself and to develop. Keep an open-mind, be curious about life and conquer your fears. I’m not saying you need to jump out of a plane if you are afraid of heights, but it can be good to push yourself. Sometimes you are more afraid of the fear than of the thing itself (add Harry Potter wisdom). Challenge yourself and go beyond your own boundaries. You might realize that it wasn’t so scary after all.
Starting a blog and throwing yourself out there in the community is the best thing you can do. I have gained so much through my blog. I never would have thought I would make fantastic friends, also in real life. I had moments where I was lonely despite everyone around me and blogging has filled that gap. I’ve found the part that was lacking and I’m immensely grateful for all the friends I’ve made now.
You will have shitty days. You will have terrible months. You will have moments where you think you are going to break down. But in the end you will get back up. You are so much stronger than you sometimes realize. It’s okay to be sad and to cry (because no, that doesn’t make you weak).
This is some of the wisdom I’ve gathered throughout the years. I’m not saying I KNOW life and I definitely don't think I have THE advice for everyone's problems, but perhaps you can do something with these words. Happy birthday to me :)
Mel is a microbiology technician who is obsessed with Disney, fairytale retellings and fantasy. If she's not reading or blogging, she's either busy with gaming, hanging out with family or watching a TV show. She loves summer and bright nail polish. One of her dreams is to travel the world. She has found her Prince Charming and they are together for 7+ years.