Birthday: 25 years.


It's that time of the year again. Twenty-five years ago I was born on a cloudy April 17th (because of course, thank you Dutch weather) and I don't feel like my age. I feel like I’m still around 18, trying to find my way in life and getting things on track. Sometimes I feel like I’m portraying to be an adult, but I just like to believe I will keep a young heart and mind.

When I was younger I thought my life would be IT around this age. I would have this perfect image and when I look at my life now, it's not the complete picture I envisioned. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m happy with my life, but it’s interesting to realize that things will not always go the way you imagine. That is one of the first lessons;


Things will not always go your way, but that doesn’t mean you are going the wrong way. You just have to be creative and work with what you got. It will only make you sad if you look back at the perfect image you’ve come up with. Life is not perfect and sometimes it’s not fair (insert Snape voice), but take a look at how far you’ve come already and all the things you’ve done and be happy with that. You should be proud of yourself, no matter what.

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People will judge you, so better do something you love so you don’t give a shit about what they think. Truly. You can change yourself all you want, but they will find something else to criticize. You better own the things you love and stand behind them. Do what makes you happy and shrug off the people who try to tear it down. They are not worth your time. Do what makes you happy and never let anyone else makes you feel bad about it.

It’s also no use to try to make everyone like you. It’s not realistic. It’s the same with books: we can’t all like the same thing. I’ve been told many times that I should not be so quiet when I meet new people and that I should participate in conversations, but that is simply who I am and there is no way I can change that. If someone has issues with that, it's not my problem. This is something I struggle with at moments. Being bullied in the past has had an impact on my life. I’ve talked about this before, but I think that part of me still longs for acceptance. I’m someone who wants to please everyone and I’m always afraid people will dislike me. Over the years I’ve grown more confident with who I am, so I know how hard it can be, but really: Embrace who you are. You are perfect the way you are. *Now I have to repeat this to myself over and over again until I live by this*

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That doesn’t mean you should stop growing. It’s good to keep improving yourself and to develop. Keep an open-mind, be curious about life and conquer your fears. I’m not saying you need to jump out of a plane if you are afraid of heights, but it can be good to push yourself. Sometimes you are more afraid of the fear than of the thing itself (add Harry Potter wisdom). Challenge yourself and go beyond your own boundaries. You might realize that it wasn’t so scary after all.

Starting a blog and throwing yourself out there in the community is the best thing you can  do. I have gained so much through my blog. I never would have thought I would make fantastic friends, also in real life. I had moments where I was lonely despite everyone around me and blogging has filled that gap. I’ve found the part that was lacking and I’m immensely grateful for all the friends I’ve made now.

You will have shitty days. You will have terrible months. You will have moments where you think you are going to break down. But in the end you will get back up. You are so much stronger than you sometimes realize. It’s okay to be sad and to cry (because no, that doesn’t make you weak).

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This is some of the wisdom I’ve gathered throughout the years. I’m not saying I KNOW life and I definitely don't think I have THE advice for everyone's problems, but perhaps you can do something with these words. Happy birthday to me :)

20 comments

  1. That is some very wise advice, Mel. One of my favorite favorite quotes is "Just because you get older, doesn't mean you have to get old." And I think that's a great way to live.

    I'm nearly 30 and I will NEVER tell my inner child to go away. Life's too magical for that mess.

    Keep on being you and keep on keepin' on. No one ever has it all figured out (ever). Follow all of your own advice and live happily, my girl! A very happy birthday to you!!!

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  2. Happy birthday, Mel!! I this post, you've imparted such wonderful and helpful words of wisdom. It's futile to try and make everyone like you. You'll find awesome people who like you for you, so don't bother with the haters! Also I definitely agree about finding your way in live. It's okay if it's not exactly what you imagined, we still have time to figure things out and things happen in strange and unexpected ways. Maybe the reality is better than what you imagined. :) Once again, happy birthday, dear! <3

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  3. Firstly love, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! <3 Mel that was absolutely amazing and beautiful advice. <3 I really need to remind myself about not fussing about who I am, looks, personality and all, and just embracing it. There have been so many times I felt like I need to be someone different and then in the end I just come out drained and unhappy. Bleh. And you are so right, I really need to hurry up and become part of the blogging community. I've been lurking since 2012 like what even omg. XD HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN HUN!

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  4. Happy Birthday Mel! The best is yet to come. I always thought that 25 was old and then you had to be this responsible and grownup person and that you had to know exactly what you wanted to do with the rest of your life, but I was wrong. I will say I am loving my 30s now and still have some room to grow and some things to learn. Great advice on your list!

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  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. Happy, HAPPY Birthday dearest Mel! I hope you have a wonderful day filled with all your bookish desires. I definitely had an image when I was younger of what my life would be by now and of course real life never matches up! It's ok though! Otherwise we'd have known what was coming and ruined some good surprises along the way ;) I also still feel like a teenager and I'm basically 10 years older than you LOL! GREAT post and many happy returns ♥♥♥

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  7. God, I wish I was 25 again... lol... It was a great time!
    Happy birthday, doll!!!

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  8. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3 I hope you have an amazing day and an excellent year. THis post is so inspiring. :) I'm 17 and my life is also different to how I thought it would be but it's definitely not a bad thing. I'm also a person who wants to please everyone but I'm slowly learning that that's impossible! Wonderful post! <3

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  9. Biggest of happy birthdays to you Mel!! Thank you for the wise advice, I have much to learn hahah I hope you enjoy your day and that you are spoilt silly! Lots of love xx

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  10. Happy birthday! At 26, it's weird that sometimes I feel much younger than I am and at other times much older/wiser. I totally know how you feel. Every piece of advice was so true and lovely. Thank you for reminding me of some I forgot!

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  11. Happy birthday to you!! Isn't it so weird that we just keep aging? I thought I was done when I hit 17! And I frequently still feel 17 even though it's been 10 years. Do we ever feel 'adult'??

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  12. Happy birthday to you!! Isn't it so weird that we just keep aging? I thought I was done when I hit 17! And I frequently still feel 17 even though it's been 10 years. Do we ever feel 'adult'??

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  13. Happy birthday, Mel! :)

    Your advice - and this post in general - is solid, really. I'm turning 29 next week and I always thought I would be OLD by the time I hit my late 20s. But to be honest, it still hits me from time to time that I'm now an adult, that I make my own money, that I have A KID, that this is probably as adult as you can get. Ha.

    But remember being 17? I thought I was an adult then. *snort laugh* It's all a matter of perspective and I think you're right, you just have to accept yourself and find space to grow even though you're officially not a kid anymore.

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  14. I really hope you had a wonderful and magical birthday, Mel, because you really deserve it <3

    I always thought I would have things together by the time I was in my mid-twenties, but I don't think that really matters. Life takes turns that we never expect it to, and I think when I was a teenager and thought that being in my twenties made me an adult, I was a little naive in thinking that. There is no sudden age that makes you an "adult". We're always figuring out the things in our life.

    Your words in this post were incredibly beautiful. Thank you for sharing them, lovely <3 <3 <3

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  15. Huuugs :D You are amazing Mel. <3 I tweeted you days ago, but again, Happy Belated Birthday :D YAAY! I'm turning 23 on May 3rd, and I'm feeling so old, lol. But oh, you have done so much more than me. <3 I haven't really done anything at all with my life. Sigh. But I'm happy even so :)

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  16. Happy belated birthday, Mel! I'm 27 and I certainly don't feel like I'm doing this adulting thing right sometimes, so you're def not alone. I love your words of wisdom (especially the one about how not everyone is going to like you and that's OKAY)

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  17. Happy birthday, Mel! I'm turning 27 this year and I still don't feel like I've got the hang of being an adult yet either, so we're in that together. Loved all the wisdom you've shared here <3

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  18. Ahh happy belated birthday Melanie! I absolutely LOVE your post because it's so true and packed with heaps of great life advice - as long as you believe in yourself and the decisions that you are make - that's how you learn and grow. You don't need to be right every time, you don't need to be liked by everyone, as long as you build relationships and friendships around you that ARE genuine and are always 110% supportive no matter whether you are right or wrong and aren't afraid to say it, then that's life.

    Wow I don't know if my comment just made sense but you made me sentimental LOL

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